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Dealing with Emotional Pain

Updated: Feb 13, 2022

At sometime in our lives we may experience emotional pain. It can come in many forms and for different reasons. There are many levels of emotional pain, some forms are just mild while others are extremely painful. Whatever kind of pain you might experience the methods of dealing with it are all the same.

During this short blog I will do my best to share with you some of the effective and positive methods which I have practiced myself over the years. It is a deep subject and I will write more on this over time, however, for now we will look at the different causes and how you can help yourself when emotional pain hits. So let's take a look at our emotions firstly so that we can understand what they are and where they come from.

What are Emotions?

Emotions are psychological states which can be triggered by thoughts, feelings, pleasure, displeasure and behavioural response. Our emotions can be activated by events which are linked to our childhood without us even being aware of it.

Something might happen to you and it brings up memories or feelings associated with a past event which can feel comfortable or uncomfortable depending upon the event. Sometimes we are not even aware why we are feeling a certain way, but the feeling can be strong. It usually starts with something external happening, which then triggers an emotional response within you. It can be extreme love or positive feelings towards another person or at times it can be negative which creates an uncomfortable feeling within.

We can see that there are both positive and negative emotional states which are triggered by something usually external which in turn create feelings and thoughts within us which bring rise to the emotion which is relevant to the event.

We can also activate emotions with imaginings within our own mind and this happens when we are not in the ‘Now’ and our mind is in the past with memories or imaginings of the future. For this blog we are discussing emotional pain so let's take a look at the different types of emotional pain.

The Different types of Emotional Pain

Emotional pain can be real or it can be imagined. When it is real it is usually occurring in the now and is current. When the pain is imagined our mind will be focussed on the future or the past. We can create very strong imagined scenarios of future events which take us out of the now and can activate fear by taking away our power of being in the now. For example: we might imagine future events such as a partner leaving us, a loved one passing, a job loss, financial difficulties the list is endless of what we might imagine. These thoughts and imaginings can start a train of emotional responses within us which if not checked can cause pain for no real reason.

Real emotional pain is very difficult to bear and it has different levels. Some of the levels can be very light pain and brief and some last a long time and go very deep. For this blog I want to focus on some powerful practices you can use when real emotional pain hits you in the now and is very real.

What can I do when real emotional pain hits?

As I mentioned earlier there are varying degrees of emotional pain brought about by different events which happen to you. However, the methods of dealing with the pain are the same for light pain and deep wounding pain. Pain is pain and we must find an outlet for it and a way to heal ourselves. The worst thing we can do is to bury our pain deep within us. I totally understand why we would want to push the pain down and not to acknowledge and feel it. After all who wants to feel pain. From my own personal experience if pain is buried and not dealt with it will always be carried within and can be triggered at any time.

It makes sense to allow the pain to be healed so we are not carrying it with us. Unhealed pain can cause all kinds of problems in our own lives and will affect our relationships with others and ourselves, it can also cause dis-ease within the body.

So let us now look at a very powerful but simple method which you can put in to practice as soon as pain hits you for whatever reason:

  1. Some event triggers emotional pain within you.

  2. You feel the pain as a wave ( I say a wave because that is how pain comes in waves). It does pass.

  3. Immediately sit quietly allow the wave of pain to come. Cry if tears come do not suppress your tears for they are a blessing and will aid your healing.

  4. Feel the pain fully - this will be difficult for some and your natural reaction might be to push the pain down within you, if you do that you are just delaying the healing, for it will resurface sooner or later.

  5. Once you really feel the pain visualise this pain going into your heart. The heart has love only and see and feel this immense love in your heart. The heart will begin to transmute your pain into love.

  6. Allow this process to take as long as it needs

  7. Then imagine the love from your heart spreading like a light throughout your entire body. Every cell of your body is alive with the power of love.

  8. All the while keep your mind on what is happening to your body and keep your mind focussed on the now and do not allow it to wonder into the past or the future, if it does bring it back immediately to the now for this is where your power is.

  9. You might need to do this whenever a wave of pain hits you, it is a very effective practice and it can help you to heal much faster than if you were to bury your pain deep within you.

Once you have performed this practice a few times the pain gets a little less each time a wave comes. Allow it to take the time it needs for the process to happen, healing cannot ever be rushed.

Much love to you all

Louisa Sullivan

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